High On: 1986 Memphis Wrestling
by Coach B
1986 Memphis Wrestling - 1/4/86
0:00 - I had heard clips of him over the years, but Lance Russell is one magnificent son of a bitch. Dave Brown is riding shotgun here, and I found out he was also the local weatherman. That is honest-to-God impressive.
Don’t shit on weathermen either. I won’t have it. Our local guy was Keith Thompson. He’s a good man. People say, “Oh, they’re just guessing.” You and I wouldn’t know shit about the weather without our phones. We would be staring at the sky like fucking idiots. When Keith started, it was probably tough and he had to know some shit.
Rick Casey Promo Package
1:25 - I go into one of these with certain expectations for a wrestling promo. Wrestlers? Yes. Ring? Sure. Multiple camera shots of horseback riding? I’ll warn you, it’s jarring when you first see it.
And then you think, “Do they have the balls to cut to the horseback riding AGAIN during this?”
Son of a bitch, they do.
You start to wonder, “They wouldn’t dare. Nobody goes three horseback-riding clips in a wrestling promo.”
I’ll be goddamned, they do.
Well, at least this should be coming to a logical conclusion any second here. Then we get Rick Casey behind an American flag, an awesome way to sign off. Followed up by Rick throwing up the metal horns, alrighty. Next, we get a toddler also throwing up the horns.
What happens next won’t sound real, and honestly, I wouldn’t have believed me either. We get what looks like Rick Casey humping the air for a few seconds. Smash cut to Rick Casey and that toddler in the park riding those giant metal spring animals.
Read that sentence again.
This is off the fucking rails.
Okay, well that was something. I’m sorry, what’s that? You said you wanted a fourth horseback-riding clip? Winner winner, you’re getting one. This will not fucking end. A clip of Casey eating a piece of straw? Sure, why the hell not. A can of tobacco in his back pocket? A boot in a stirrup? A fucking horse’s head? A pistol?
It’s your lucky day.
Also, I spent three minutes wondering why Hank Williams was doing the soundtrack for a softcore gay porno. I know Lance mentioned who it was beforehand and put up a graphic first. Don’t just throw 1986 Rick Casey at us with no warning.
Rick Casey vs. The Invader
3:45 - The crowd stands out to me right away. They’re quiet, but I don’t think it’s out of boredom. It took me a beat to realize: they were paying attention. Strangely, it’s the sound of concentration. That idea is going in the coffee table book Dumb Shit Guys Said While High.
The crowd does get fired up here in a minute, but you get the sense they make you work for it.
I always love seeing a big masked wrestler here in The Invader. But how do you pick up appreciative female fans if you’re wearing a mask? You’d probably have to bang her in the mask to prove it, wouldn’t you?
4.5/10 - To me, a match like this is fine. Not a bad score. Rick Casey can move around well and definitely has a look. Rick Casey will get you pregnant. Or take you on a horseback ride. Or both.
8:25 - The “Ha-ok” at the beginning from Lance killed me. Said like a man who is going to plow through this shit for the 712th time. Lance is the best. I love the way he shakes his head in disbelief at the upcoming card.
“I gotta tell ya, folks, I can’t fucking believe the card this coming Tuesday.”
Obviously, Lance didn’t say fuck, but is it really a stretch? He enjoyed a Cutty pop or two during an event. He must have dropped a few f-bombs on air.
9:12 - Dutch is back. I say I pick these at random, but I realized today it’s not true. That goddamn YouTube algorithm. It knows what I like and it serves me more of it. I could easily fall into a “none of this is random” stoner rabbit hole of paranoia.
Dutch says he has never lost a bullwhip-on-a-pole match, and you’re required by state law to believe him.
And this is a first for me. Dutch does the mid-interview pass-off to Bill Dundee. I’m not calling him Superstar. Won’t do it. Not even if there’s a fire. He’s 5’7”. He pops on for about 20 seconds to talk about Jerry Lawler and then he splits. Or he probably just disappears, you know, because he’s a little fella.
Jim Jameson vs. Dutch Mantell
10:29 - Jim Jameson weighs 216 pounds, as do I. We could both be doing better.
Dutch Mantell being from Oil Trough, Texas is a Hall of Fame Gimmick Hometown entry. That is what I wrote before I fell into the abyss. I decided to look it up, and I’ll be goddamned if there isn’t an Oil Trough, Arkansas, but no Texas. So it’s kind of a gimmick, a half-shoot name?
What were the criteria to be on the town-naming committee for Oil Trough, Arkansas? Instead of making incendiary remarks about folks from Arkansas, I have decided to assume the best: they were really busy and didn’t care.
“What should we name our town?”
“There’s an oil trough over there.”
“Fuck it, perfect. Meeting adjourned.”
Population: 260
Cedar Ridge School District
Mascot: Timberwolves
They finished 7-2 on the season, but won two playoff games before losing in the quarterfinals. Coach Brustrom wanted to thank the seniors for their contributions, and he is very excited about the juniors coming back next season.
11:31 - You know how with modern wrestling it all looks smooth and crisp, right? Well, neither of those things are happening here. It looks like Dutch is thumping the shit out of Jim Jameson, Jimmy J to his friends.
Also, the proximity of the crowd to the ring is a trip. It’s different from traditional crowd noise because you can hear the individual person yell. It feels more personal.
2.7/10 - The very hairy fighting man beat up the lumpy fighting man.
The Fantastics vs. Spoiler and Pat Rose, with Promo Package
12:44 - If you didn’t know this episode was from 1986, now you do, because it’s another music video. They didn’t license shit, and when Memphis Wrestling steals music, they do not hold back. You are going to hear every SECOND of that copyright violation. Like with Rick Casey, you’re going to reach a point where you assume the song is wrapping up, and you’ll be dead wrong.
There are several montages of high-flying action, an American flag, and the Fantastics working out in the gym.
In Speedos.
It’s not a “casual stroll through the gym in your favorite banana hammock” day. Nay, friend. They are aggressively working out in Speedos. Who is the target audience for this? From what I can tell, it was actually the women. There are several shots of the Fantastics wading into females along the guardrails.
What do you call someone who survives an avalanche? Hero.
What do you call someone who survives an avalanche of pussy every night for over a decade? The Fantastics.
The Fantastics are handing out individual fucking hugs at ringside to fans. A beefy-chested mom from Orange Mound, Tennessee is getting the same hug you gave Randy from accounting when he had that tumor removed last July.
3.9/10 - It was a fast, high-flying match, but no one broke their leg, so was it really a good match?
Memphis Vice vs. Tracy Smothers & Billy Travis
22:50 - I went to a signing event in Indiana about 10 years ago, and it was a number of forgettable interactions with a few exceptions. Tracy Smothers was the nicest guy in the world. I didn’t know too much about him at that point, but spent a few bucks because I appreciated the time he spent talking to me.
The other notable person from that day was Bob Backlund. That man was determined to make a memory for me. He signed my book, put me in a chokehold, and offered to do a headstand. It was really something to see.
Tracy is no longer with us, and I hear Bob is struggling with his health, but for whatever it is worth, I have good memories of both those guys.
This is all fine. It is not Mid-South Wrestling in 1984, but I am starting to realize MSW was different. It was a very basic match, but in a small TV studio, I can see how this would all be captivating.
3.4/10 - Not much to speak of match-wise, but I did have a nice memory about Tracy Smothers, so there is that. His book, If You Don't Buy This Book, Everybody Dies, is worth a read.
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Tony Falk
27:40 - As jobbers go, Tony Falk brings so much to the table. Mouth full of marbles? Check. Wild self-confidence based on nothing at all? Check. A dyed blond Flair rip-off mullet? You know it.
This era of the biggest stars not always closing the show is still hard for me to comprehend. I am sure there was a reason that Jerry Lawler, as champ, wouldn’t go on last, but I don’t know what it is.
Tony Falk comes flying in and knocks over poor Jerry Calhoun as he tries to attack The King. Lawler piledriver and that match is over in 24 seconds. Typing all this out took way longer than the actual match. Although, I did answer my question about why this contest didn’t go on last.
1.1/10 - It was a 24-second match. Lance Russell clowning Tony Falk before the match on commentary was the highlight.
Jerry “The King” Lawler Promo Package
29:40 - I hope you’re sitting down. There’s another music video highlight package. They split their cards in blackjack and are now doubled down on those splits. It does make me wonder, hasn’t history shown that people eventually get tired of the same shit? Then again, in Memphis, maybe not.
This speaks to how fucking OVER Lawler was in Memphis. He WAS Memphis wrestling for decades, and to be able to consistently draw money for that long being the top star? Truly impressive. He’s not a physical specimen by any means, but he owned The Mid-South Coliseum and everyone in it.
Modern rant: During the package, it shows Lawler slamming Hulk Hogan over and over. How much of this will be lost to history now that WWE owns everything? They already cherry-pick from wrestling history and massage it to fit whatever narrative they’re pushing at the moment. I find it hard to believe they’ll ever release everything they own onto Netflix or YouTube, but they don’t even do that on Peacock.
Anyway, you have billions of dollars. Just show us all the old stuff and make us happy.
This promo goes on for a stretch, but it is worth seeing just as a reminder that Jerry Lawler was a GOD in Memphis. The crowd shots are great.
33:30 - “Ha-ok” now slays me every time.
“Best of Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler on tape for $29.95! $5.25 postage!”
Sweet. How do I order it, Lance?
“Eh, ah… Mastercharge or Visa.”
Or by calling 1-800-524-2507, which you should not do. I thought I would have something funny to share here, but that number now belongs to some telemarketer who is very excited to have my number. Really effed myself in the A on that one.
If you run an inflation calculator for $35.20 in 1986, that videotape would cost $101.33 in today’s money. That was the time when videotapes cost a mint to produce, so you have to figure they sold a bunch of these.
34:44 - And we are still with Jerry Lawler, but it’s okay because he’s laying out some track about him and Bill Dundee. Like me, Lawler is sick and tired of Bill Dundee’s bullshit and wants him gone. The benevolent king has decided to grant Bill Dundee a rematch for the Southern Heavyweight Championship under one condition: Dundee and his wife BOTH put their hair on the line.
Jerry goes on to explain they’ve done this angle before years previously. The way he is talking about Dundee’s wife feels so damn personal, inferring that their marriage may not survive another head-shaving.
This loses a little steam after rehashing the past, but Lawler has the people eating from his hand. It was a little up and down, but enjoyable all the same. It’s a fun rewatch just to remember prime Jerry Lawler.
The Fantastics Promo Package
39:50 - Will Ferrell could play Lance Russell in a movie, right? Go look.
Fuckin’ A, the Fantastics are back, and in less than 15 seconds they make sure to shout out all the pretty girls in Evansville. You know what’s fun to do in Evansville, Indiana? Pack your shit and leave.
The Sheepherders have been cutting down the USA, and now you’ve pissed off two bastards in sequined vests.
Imagine you were assaulted by The Fantastics in real life:
Police: Can you describe the assailants for us?
“It was two guys, both about 5’10” and well-built.”
Police: Great, can you describe what they were wearing?
“Sniffle. They had on matching white bowties.”
Police: Go on.
“They were wearing matching spandex tights and sequined vests, which were also matching.”
Police: Okay, so we are going to write that you fell down the stairs instead, cool?
Bill Dundee vs. David Johnson
41:50 - 16 seconds. Match over.
0.5/10 - It was a 16-second match. I know I said I liked squash matches and all, but this was a bit much. Dundee, while still tiny, is swole.
Bill Dundee Promo Package
43:00 - Four music video packages are too many for an hour-long show. In this show alone, we’ve seen videos ranging from athletic to whatever Rick Casey was. It’s a full three minutes of Bill Dundee wrestling with Duran Duran playing “Wild Boys,” and buckle up.
I may be higher than usual because the combination of a shitty 80s song and a weird Australian kind of scared me. Same scared as when they would test the emergency broadcast system over the TV when I was a kid. High-pitched squeal. It’s a good way to freak me out to this day.
45:39 - They cut to Bill Dundee, Lance Russell, and a clip from Dundee’s wife about potentially getting their heads shaved by Jerry Lawler in the rematch.
Not Lance, obviously. They knew better than to approach Lance with such a tasteless angle. Every Wednesday morning, Lance Russell would scream to the production team, “You come at the king, you best not miss!” He said it was his message to the haters, as well as his mating call.
The clip they showed from Bill Dundee’s wife is different and adds to the reality of it, but they continue to reference that they’ve already done a hair match. It’s just disappointing and feels like a retread.
Why can’t they put something on a pole instead of a rerun?
Overall: 3.3/10
I try to think of these in modern terms and also versus what life was like at that time. For 1986, in the greater Memphis area, this was probably an hour well spent. The music videos are of the time period and seem to be well done.
With all that said, the little wrestling we see isn’t very good. There’s gotta be better Memphis TV than this.